tenuous & tenacious

today was hard on the "emotionally draining" front. i'm the faculty advisor for the campus gay/straight alliance, so some of the students come talk to me about their personal baggage. today i saw two of them, a few hours apart.

the first one is really tough, hangs out with the guys, plays football, punches walls, but she's also very sweet and perceptive. she told me she wants to find someone to have a real relationship with, and that when she does she wants to take it slow, and that a lot of girls don't understand that. she ultimately wants to be a police officer in LA. she's joining the marines this summer because she can't wait to get out of her mother's house.

the second one is working full-time at wendy's and taking classes, and she just moved back in with her grandfather. her parents kicked her out when she was fourteen, and i'd guess she's 18 or 19 now. she lived with her girlfriend for the time in between, but now they've broken up, and she's completely at a loss. she wants to be a social worker and help kids. she told her family she's not gay anymore so they'll let her come home.

both of these girls come from low-income families, they're both smart but a bit behind the educational curve, and both of them have told me in so many words that they feel hopeless. they're looking for a better life.

i don't know what it's like to be on my own from the age of 14. i don't know what it's like to feel like joining the marines is a good choice. i give them the only advice that i have. i tell them to take care of themselves, find a way to be independent, get an education. i tell them to make friends, because when your family fails you, you make your own. they are moving forward, even with the incredible pressure they're under. they're obviously strong and capable. i just wish i could make it easier on them somehow.